3 easy steps you can take to help you step into your personal power & increase your confidence

Exert from another post, see full post here

1. Change your language (both internal dialogue and expressed language). 

Start by giving yourself more power by reframing.

So rather than saying: “I should do X”

Instead you might choose to say:

“I can (or I could) do X”

Or

“I will do X”

Changing the word should for can/could automatically turns it into a choice.

Changing should for will moves you forward into action.

And… if the doing X is something you really don’t want to do and it isn’t critical to survival (e.g. cooking dinner for your family) then simply let it go.

2. Create a process to check-in 

I think there is a lot of value in reading, listening and learning from the experts and our community, but with all the information available to us, developing a way to do a personal check-in helps us to know what the right decision is for us.

A couple questions you could ask yourself:

Does “X” information resonate with me?

–      If yes, what about it resonates with me?

–      If no, what about it doesn’t resonate with me?

Have I made my decision from a place of ego (I’m right, you’re wrong) or from intuition (I have done my research and my “gut” says “X is a good choice for me”)?

Often we undervalue the power of listening to our intuition, but being in tune with your intuition and being able to listen to what isn’t being said (also known as the song behind the words) is in fact very powerful and important in feeling confident in our parenting choices.

3. Flex your muscles

A great way to get more comfortable and confident to speak your truth and step into your personal power is to practice speaking up.

(Like any muscle, to get strong, it takes practice.)

Begin by sharing your perspective on something little or something you think is valuable. If sharing verbally is challenging, start first by writing it down so you can get clear about the message you do want to share.

Dalice

What do you stand for?

“What do you stand for?”

One of the things I stand for is PEOPLE and what I believe to be fair.

I stand for making positive choices about what I consume and use so I can positively impact the lives of others.

What I want to talk about today is fashion and our consuming culture.

… I struggle with how we consume and how we seemingly ignore the environmental and humanitarian issues.

We just can’t keep ignoring this or saying “we didn’t know”.

Environmentally… so many resources go into producing clothing and household items… And then it ends up as landfill.

The planet is suffering on both ends.

As a collective (which begins on an individual level) we need to start buying clothes and other products we value and appreciate and last.

Socially… the “birth lottery” means that hundreds of thousands of people are literally killing themselves to feed the consumer habits of those more fortunate in the “birth lottery”.

These are real people farming the cotton and real people making the fabric and real people sewing the garment. And they all deserve to be paid living wages and have good and safe working and living conditions…

I know we can help achieve that by educating ourselves on where our clothes and other products come from and making more empowered decisions.

Before I go any further…

I want to set this up… I am more than happy for people to earn a good income and live a happy and prosperous life. I actually coach people on how to have the life they want to live…

… But… this should not ever be at the expense of others.

We do not grow strong and happy by pushing and keeping others down…

We become strong, joyful, peaceful and wise by acknowledging the infinite connection between us and all there is.

How often has it been asked:

“Why does it cost so much?”

Shouldn’t the question be … “why is it so cheap?”

In truth, how much an item costs isn’t a reflection of how ethical the product is. In regards to clothing there are stores I simply will not shop at which has nothing to do with price.

Sometimes when I hear people comment on the fashion industry and say “I didn’t know…” I think “How could you not know…”

… But… these things come into our consciousness at different times and we accept them into our lives when we are ready. That timing is different for everyone…

So… if you have made it this far and are still reading this…

Firstly, congratulations and thank you! 🙂

Secondly, the time is right and you are ready to make more powerful choices when it comes to your purchases. YAY 🙂

Our choices (mine and yours) do matter and every decision you make either leads you towards or away from the life and world you want.

Dalice ❤

p.s. Because this could have been an essay… I will do a second follow-up post with tips on how you can more easily choose ethical fashion and have a positive impact on the lives of the people making the products.

p.p.s. Here are just 5 resources to help with your shopping and creating the life you desire now.
– Good On You
– Ethical Clothing Australia
– Ethical Fashion Guide 2016 – http://www.baptistworldaid.org.au/…/Ethical-Fashion-Guide.p…
– Ethical Fashion Forum
– Groups on facebook: A Year of Ethical Fashion and/or Ethical Fashion Australia

Plus, a blog I wrote last year on the anniversary of the Rana Plaza collapse https://liveyourdream.com.au/…/integrity-in-leadership-dec…/

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Integrity in Leadership Decisions

Are we (you and me) powerful?

In March I published the blog: Wisdom. Consciousness. Leadership

At the time I wrote: “I am often confused by the choices made in our community from the individual level right through to Government and Big Business. Individuals might become aware and conscious about one social issue but completely ignore another.”

This Friday (April 24, 2015) marks 2 years since the Rana Plaza collapse in Bangladesh when more than 1,100 people died and another 2,500+ people were injured.

Two years later, I wonder:

  • What have the Board of Directors of these organisations who produce clothing in developing countries learned?
  • What action has been taken to transition the industry and businesses towards a position of integrity?
  • Are leaders in our society – people like you and me – making powerful choices when it comes to our purchasing?

A couple weeks ago I started writing a piece titled “The beggar and the dress maker” with the focus to be on the choices we make regarding gifting to charity for aid (which I support) and purchasing items we want for a fair price (which I also support). I often wonder whether we want to simply give charity and continue to purchase items at “bargain” prices which results in paying wages which are sub-standard and don’t allow the workers to support themselves or their families.

Always buying a “bargain” is a vicious cycle which keeps the powerful, powerful.

I didn’t get a chance to finish it before being asked questions about the potential impact on workers should a “sweat shop” factory close its doors and these employees (mostly women) be unemployed.

Q: “Would this then result in increased prostitution? Would their lives be worse?”

I think these questions are worth talking about openly because these are good questions to ask and I’m sure if one person is asking, many people are thinking it.

According to Amnesty International, there are almost 36 million slaves in the world today, many of whom produce the clothes we buy and wear.

As a society do we as leaders believe we are powerful enough to make a positive difference to the lives of others living as slaves, especially when the magnitude of the numbers can be so overwhelming?

As leaders with wisdom and consciousness, and as leaders who wish to make decisions from a place of integrity, I think the answer must be a POWERFUL YES!

One of my favourite movies, released in 2007, is Amazing Grace based on the true story of William Wilberforce.

If you wonder about the power of one I highly recommend this movie. It is fantastic!

I believe as individuals we can make a difference in the corrupt clothing industry by choosing to support companies that pay fair wages to their staff and everyone in the supply chain.

Reported by The Age last week (on the just released Ethical Fashion Guide): “According to the report, the production cost of a T-shirt in Bangladesh would increase from about 50c to 80c if workers were paid a living wage. The minimum wage in Bangladesh is currently US$68 ($88) a month.” 

Producing clothing is a basic fee for service. Imagine if, living in Australia or any “Developed country”, you went to work for 14 hours every day for a month and at the end of the month you had 19% of the income you needed to simply live… not thrive, but merely survive.

To lead with integrity we need to be a voice. We need to take action.

Would you:

  • Pay an extra dollar for your t-shirt if you knew it went straight to the garment maker?
  • Sign the Oxfam Heart Breakers petition which pressures Australian clothing companies to sign the Bangladesh Fire and Safety Accord.

If you are concerned about the potential of increased prostitution, be conscious that the brands who are not complying will not change overnight. All change is a transition. Women and girls will not suddenly be driven into the streets. But… if we begin now and create a better tomorrow through our better decisions the positive change will be rippled – like a pebble thrown into a pond.

In NLP we are taught to accept the “model of the world” of all our clients and people we work with. We are also taught to believe to our very core that everyone is capable of excellence. If we hold that space and see their excellence, they too will believe in their excellence.

If we, as leaders, become apathetic to the issues we do become powerless, but if we choose to come from a place of power and make our decisions with integrity and believe excellence can be achieved, the way to a better future has already begun.

Love and light,
Dalice

p.s Learn & Grow

Ethical Fashion Guide (released in April 2015): http://www.baptistworldaid.org.au/assets/Be-Fair-Section/Ethical-Fashion-Guide.pdf

ABC news: http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2015-04-17/australian-fashion-industry-still-not-protecting-global-workers/6399698

World Fair Trade Organization: Facebook group

Oxfam Heart Breakers: https://www.oxfam.org.au/heartbreakers/

pps. At this time I didn’t talk about buying Organic cotton because that is a whole separate discussion point. I do encourage doing your own research – if you don’t want to do your own research into deadly GMOs and the very “dirty” cotton industry, then I strongly encourage buying organic cotton over non-organic as much as possible.

Wisdom. Consciousness. Leadership.

Last year I was asked: What is Wisdom?

I said: Seeing further together

When I think of wisdom I think of our consciousness.

As leaders of our own lives I believe it is our responsibility to raise our level of consciousness to make well informed decisions. Decisions which have considered both sides of the coin and everything and everyone the coin is connected to. Too often we hide behind the ignorance of ‘not knowing’. Maybe it seems easier to follow the crowd and trust that others will make good decisions for you and the world in which we live?

At Dictionary.com, on raising ones consciousness, it says: “to increase one’s awareness and understanding of one’s own needs, behaviour, attitudes, etc., especially as a member of a particular social or political group.” We are all part of a much bigger whole.

We all have the responsibility to increase our awareness and understanding. Our wisdom and seeing further into the future relies on our ability and commitment to increasing our level of consciousness about what matters – our people, our planet, our galaxy.

I am often confused by the choices made in our community from the individual level right through to Government and Big Business. Individuals might become aware and conscious about one social issue but completely ignore another e.g. The desire to buy local food to support local farmers, and therefore visit the Farmers Market each week (awesome) BUT then choose to buy ‘cheap’ fast fashion which keeps a young girl in a developing country as a slave. It just doesn’t make sense!

A few weeks ago I watched the Origins film (http://origins.well.org) and Hungry for Change, and this week I watched Bought (http://boughtmovie.net/free-viewing/ – available free for 5 more days).

One of my favourite quotes from Origins is: “What you are doing today should be sustainable for 7 generations into the future – not just for you and your generation today.”

I don’t recommend watching these films unless you are open to questioning our current reality. If you do decide to watch them, know it is a commitment to watch from start to finish.

Whether you decide to watch any of the above films or not, I do hope you choose to make a commitment to your consciousness, your wisdom and your personal leadership.

Love and Light, Dalice

The pigeon and the hole

Today I am unsubscribing from a stereotype and label which I have let hold me back.

I say “let hold me back” because I believe we all make our choices.

Early last year I was given a “Personality Test” (Myers Briggs) which included the introvert/extrovert preference.  The ‘test’ told me I was very highly introverted.

For 12 months I allowed my result to impact me and to define behaviours.  I became quieter and more reserved which then impacted my confidence.  I agreed to sit in a box for almost 12 months.  Now I am breaking out and saying: No labels. No pigeon holes. No stereotypes.

Labelling behaviours creates miss-conceptions and allows us to make excuses or reasons for certain behaviours. They are also a place to hide.

“I did that because….”
“That was the result because….”

We need to remember as powerful individuals that we always have a choice over our behaviour, our outcomes, our successes and our attitude. On the weekend for a bit of fun I answered the questions again and got the result of an “ambivert” – a mix between introvert and extrovert.

The test I did 12 months ago was part of a leadership course and we stood on different sides of the room – introverts on one side, extroverts on the other.

On that day there happened to be a lot of ‘extroverts’ in the room and the topic continued to be discussed throughout the year.  I am sure there was a lot of dialogue at the time about it only being preferences, but the labels stuck!

I strongly believe “Personality profiles” as they are so often called should simply be called “behaviour profiles based on the answers you gave on that day in the state you were in emotionally and physically”.  I am not convinced we need them at all.

Always remember you are not your behaviour.

See people for who they are – not for their behaviour.  Which means you must see yourself for who you are – not your behaviour.  Be free of the labels and live the life you imagine for you.

You are a magnificent being of light. You are perfect.

Love and light,
Dalice

how you see yourself - Copy

Leadership pt 2 (Your Strengths & Positive Psychology)

Welcome to Leadership Part 2. How did you go with your questions in part 1?

I am really excited to share this you. I just finished doing my ‘Character Strengths’ survey at www.authentichappiness.org which is something I highly recommend for you to do also. It will take you about 15 to 20 minutes to answer the questions and receive your top 5 ‘Character Strengths’.

To be an effective leader (remembering from the last blog that YOU are a leader) you need to know and understand your strengths. To help you to gain a stronger understanding of your strenghts I encourage you to do the survey (it’s free – there is no cost) and to also purchase the book Flourish which is written by the creator of Positive Psychology and the survey.

I discovered the website in reading a book on Positive Psychology by Martin E.P. Seligman, titled Flourish. See the bottom of this blog for more on Dr Seligman, but in short Martin Seligman is the founder of positive psychology, a field of study that examines healthy states, such as happiness, strength of character and optimism.

Have fun with the survey – if you tell me yours I will tell you mine  🙂

Dalice

p.s. Dr Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. The new era of positive psychology TED Talk (more than 1.65 million people have watched it)

p.p.s. Dr Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D., is one of the most widely know psychologists of our time. He has spent over 40 years working on the issues of depression, optimism and pessimism. His ‘learned helplessness’ theory is one of the most influential psychology theories of last century, shedding light on problems such as depression, child abuse and domestic violence.

In 1996, Dr. Seligman was elected President of the American Psychological Association, by the largest vote in modern history. Since 2000, his main mission has been the promotion of the field of positive psychology.

Dr Seligman is currently working with the US Government on wellbeing and resilience for the whole armed forces, focusing on the use of positive psychology to combat post-traumatic stress and suicide rates. He has worked with both the US and UK governments in education settings. He continues to have a strong focus on training psychologists in positive psychology – individuals whose practice can make the world a happier place, in a way that parallels clinical psychologists having made the world a ‘less unhappy’ place.

Leadership pt 1

I am often asked about leadership, have been recognised in various ways for my leadership and have most recently been asked to present on leadership to a group of professionals.

After agreeing to speak about leadership I have been thinking about what I might talk about and ended up with questions. Seemingly simple questions which I wasn’t sure of the answer too…

What is leadership?
and
What does it mean to be a good leader?

In my preparation for this presentation I decided to do a little internet research which came back with some diagrams and different ideas of leadership characteristics. Mostly I was not inspired by any of it.

I wondered also if the word ‘leader’ is thrown around too much or if we don’t use it enough?

Sadly I realised that a lot of the time we seem to link ‘success’ with leadership. We celebrate leaders in different fields, people who are good at their job or their sport, people who start a successful business, actors, actresses etc etc.

But in doing that we are overlooking that:

Every person is a leader – YOU are a leader
Every person is powerful – YOU are powerful

Being a leader is about being YOU and you being a leader first and foremost in your own life. Making decisions and being happy in being true to you.

YOU have infinite potential and by being here on this earth you are a leader. You are choosing everyday how you want to spend your time, what attitude you take to life and what direction you want your life to take. That makes you a leader.

Before the next part in this series of blogs on leadership, grab a pen and paper and sit yourself away from everything and everyone for 15 minutes and think about these questions:

–          If I was in charge of my life and I had the power to create / bring in / achieve something significant to me in the next three months what would it be?
(this could be around money, relationships, career, study, health, happiness etc.)

–          What is the one thing I can do right now that will move this goal closer to me?

I am already excited about your answers and can’t wait to hear from you!

With love,
Dalice

p.s. I am going to leave you today with one of my favourite quotes  🙂